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So long, farewell, etc, etc.

Oh NaBloPoMo, you have really done me in.. Rachel Zoe style. I have come undone, Brad.

I am thankful that I have nice friends who read boring entries and appreciate my forays into the dark underworld of candy sex. At least these friends have pretended to read all this stuff. So, for those who read and those who pretend and mostly for those who comment, THANK YOU.

Currently, I am watching what seems to be a CSI marathon. If Shane were here, he would be asleep by now. Most shows that I enjoy bore him to death.
When we were in NY, there was a CSI:NY marathon on. I was getting all settled in ready to enjoy myself, it felt very thematic and appropriate. Shane pointed out that we could just go OUTSIDE and see all the exact same sights that I was watching on the idiot box. We might even see some criminal action taking place if we were lucky.
I tried to justify staying indoors by explaining that we wouldn't be able to see everything from a helicopter's viewpoint and that there wouldn't be music playing... I totally lost that battle.
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Whatever happened to "O'Boises"?? Remember them? O'Boises are O'Boisterous! was their theme song.. I don't think I ever ate one. Boisterous potato chips did not sound appetizing.
It's kind of like when they started making the green M&M sexy.
I can't help but think that promiscuous little green circle with her fake eyelashes and white stripper shoes is completely disease ridden by now.
Herpes=Not Tasty.
I have stopped eating M&Ms.
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When you've done nothing but eat, watch TV and play games for a day and a(n) half, you don't have much to say...

My cat is insane. Nuts. Bonkers. Mad.
He was running from back yard to bedroom window screeching (really, I've never heard a cat do this before) and hissing. We stopped him twice and did a full body check to see if he was in some sort of physical distress, but found nothing. He's stopped now and is mewing forlornly at the back door.

Did he miss his big chance of catching a flock of broken winged birds? Limping lizards? Low flying bugs? We may never know.

I have a show tonight. If anyone wants to see this thing, let me know. I have some comps. It's a good show, just not the MOST fabulous thing ever. I saw it 5 times before I got sick of it.. that's good for me when it comes to straight plays.

I have found a flaw in my Christmas wishlist given to my family. I asked for like 15 books. I HAVE NOWHERE TO PUT THEM. I love books and keep the good ones and sell the meh ones, but really.. I have no more room. Guess I will clean out my room. (Yes Shane, including that 'area by the bin' that made you question your love for me.)

Oooh, apparently my Mom lives next door to a burgeoning drummer. Swell. The problem with living by the drummer of a terrible band is that the other members usually come to him. So you get the 'full experience' of their 'early work'. Except in my house, where everyone brings drums over on a Thurs or Sun night. AWESOME. They even use a mic to sing at my house, which is ridiculous because my living room is the size of a postage stamp and really, you don't need any amplification.

Moving in April, I am.
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Judge Judy is on and she is screaming at someone on the TV. IT MUST BE A HOLIDAY!!!

Is it bad that I watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade for three hours and was slightly disappointed that none of the giant cartoon characters from 2004 crashed? Is there no money for new balloons? Bethoven? Really??

I have a show tomorrow. I am sad kinda. I was seriously enjoying having nights off. But tonight, there is food.. lots of it. And I will eat it and be thankful.
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I am off work in two hours and then will head to Mom's house in the rain.

As for turkey day, we've pardoned Mr. Gobbles this year and are having some chicken instead. Sorry Mr. Chicken, but you are cheap and much less trouble to prepare for two peeps. Also, you are an evil, vile creature. So, there's that.

Our computers work today and there are less people here than ever. Also, nobody is chatty and the lighting is bad.. AND I WANT OUT OF HERE OKAY?!?!
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Today, something at work that has to do with computers died. I have no idea how or what.. I do know that it prevented ANYONE in the whole company from logging on to their computer. Basically, the place just shut down.

We had a company meeting scheduled for 1:30, and our VP seemed determined to keep us there until after said meeting ended.

So, what did we do for 5+ hours?

Depending on where you sat, you were enlisted to:
-Roll paper beads on a toothpick
-Make creatures out of fuzzy pipe cleaners and felt
-Glue foam shapes into a book to make a picture of people BBQ-ing

I had the great honor of doing ALL FOUR at various points of the day.. but mostly I was involved with paper beads.
Rolling and gluing literally hundreds of tiny little strips of paper.
For hours.
And making 'rolling paper' jokes all the while.
I just got a text from Mr. M that read, "I still had glue on my thumb"... and I realized that I did as well. I would have noticed it sooner, but I can no longer feel my finger tips.. which is not a problem, right? Fingers are not for feeling or anything.
In an unrelated story, I am trying to see if 'nerve damage' is covered under my accidental dismemberment & injury plan.

The good thing about our sweat shop environment was that I was able to pull my chair up to various desks around the office and chat with my buddies for hours.
My boss is really fun, and being able to chat with her was good. We don't get to do that often.
With all the merriment, the day went by relatively quickly for everyone except the poor IT guy who was flown home from his vacation, yep you read that correctly, to fix the problem.
I am seriously impressed at his ability to not flip us all off all day long.
I was part of a team that made a peace offering in the form of a Grande no whip mocha.. but really, it wasn't enough for the crap he had to deal with today.
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Play along if you feel like it...

* Grab the book nearest you. Right now.
* Turn to page 56.
* Find the fifth sentence.
* Post that sentence along with these instructions in your journal. Include the title of book and author.

He had another, even more intriguing puzzle to solve, and that was Lark Morgan, though there was no telling when she'd strike out for parts unknown.
A Wanted Man by Linda Lael Miller

You know, I work with books all day. But since they are craft and kids books not many go up to page 56, I had to venture into the kitchen for this one.
Whomever is putting romance novels in the book swap bin needs a talking to....
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I think the only good thing to come of Twatlight is that it has irked many of my clever friends.
When irked, these friends tend to write hilarious parodies and snarky criticisms which are keeping me wildly entertained. I personally can't get past the "sparkling" (or is it "dazzling"?) long enough to read or see anything Twilight. I am sure I am missing much of the more detailed jokes because of my Twilight-Ignorance.. but I'll soldier on blissfully unaware.

On Facebook, I have a friend from high school who has morphed from a shy hippie type into a gun-toting, bumperstickered truck drivin', proud to be American Twilight Mom. I have no idea why people like to put themselves in boxes like that, but those are all things she has labeled herself as. I didn't even know about the Twilight Moms until recently.. and now, they are cropping up everywhere. It's like once you see them, you can never unsee them.

I haven't ventured out in the world yet today, so there isn't much to report. I suspect lunch will be involved at some point. Something warm sounds appealing at the moment. I will probably spend the next 20 minutes trying to decide what kind of warm food I want. If the world's survival relied on my making a decision about where to eat, we'd be cumulatively screwed. it's not that I am picky, I am just too open to anything. So many things sound delicious, and I can't narrow it down without feeling like I am missing something better.
The decision is slightly easier when I am by myself because there are lots of sit down restaurants that I don't like being by myself in. I don't worry about people staring, or feel like a loser, I don't need a book... I just feel rushed by taking up a 'whole table' to myself and I also tend to worry that I have food on my face and nobody to tell me. Also, I LOVE TO TALK..
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Oh man. I don't think I've ever mentioned that when we were in NY, Shane purchased the most adorable Hello Kitty plush toy for me. She is wearing a tux jacket with tails, a top hat and FISHNETS. Also, she is holding an apple that says "I <3 NY" but with the right side up heart... Did I mention the FISHNETS?!!? She's so Fosse Fabulous!

Speaking of fabulous. Is anyone else as much in awe with David Tutera as I am? I always loved his other party planning show, but My Fair Wedding is amazing. Disney dresses, cleaning up of tragic (sorry) brides and WHERE DOES HE FIND THOSE LOCATIONS? A castle in New York? F'reals? He has amazing connections and amazing taste. Also, he is hilarious and doesn't let little things like the bride's opinion get in his way.
I would hire that man in an instant if I could afford him. I would hire him for any event I could.
My new secret dream job is to work for him as an assistant of some sort. I think working for an event planner is right up my alley. Running around with clipboards, problem solving, using phrases like "swags of fabric" and working 12 hour days sounds dreamy to me.
I know. Sick. But it's true.
Honestly, it's not too much different from what I do now as an SM. It's just a lot less rehearsal and a lot more pressure to get things right in one go. Also, it can't possibly pay less. Bring it on new dream job!

I have the TV on the background. According to some man on my TV, there are places in South Memphis that I doan wanna gow. Good to know. South Memphis is now officially off my vacation short list. Also, 5-Loxin has been proven to improve joint comfort within 7 days. FYI. Now you know.
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Why must stage blood be peppermint flavoured? Stage blood is an icky consistency, and it smells a little sweet and it looks like blood.. these are enough senses touched by a single substance.. why must we add taste in?!?

It reminds me of my junior high science teacher who tried to mask the smell of formaldehyde in our earthworm dissection by using almond extract. Cutting open a rubbery, preserved earthworm and having a little almond scented juice squirt out was enough to put me off lunch, science and Scott Boner (the unfortunately named crush of my middle school years) for months. I associated that awful almond/formaldehyde combo smell with all things icky.. until I got my first taste of peppermint stage blood. Gah, my icky smell/image combo was revised. I think the only way it could have been worse is if it had oozed out of an earthworm....

The awful girl at work is apparently a theatre person. WELL SURPRISE, SURPRISE. Theatre people are NEVER annoying or high maintenance! Oooh, maybe we'll get to work together sometime on a show.. that would be super!!!! I really shouldn't tempt fate like that. I know better...

Yesterday I met with a priest in my hometown. It was so strange. Nothing about the actual meeting was that strange.. but the place was. I basically grew up in that church. The room we were in used to be the TV room. Kids could come over and hang out and watch some TV with the priests and nuns and have some snacks... and this was before stories like that were punch lines for sitcoms. It was normal in my world. I don't think I've been in that building for 20 years or so.

Going back there as an adult with an appointment was so strange. I don't know this priest well. That was also strange. The priests of my youth and I were on a first name basis.
It was like going back to an old house you've lived in to find someone has re-arranged all the furniture. Aside from the strangeness of the place, the meeting was good.

I have a meeting with a Rabbi next week. I really should write a book about my life sometime. It isn't that my life is particularly fascinating, it's just... eventful.
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Every day brings a new symptom. It's like the Andromeda Strain. I won't go into detail, but believe me, I am not well.

On a brighter note, the Quantum of Solace flu has taken another victim.. the annoying chick! Good job QoS, today was a lot nicer with her absence.

I just turned on the TV and one of those Japanese Gameshows that are dubbed into non-literal English translations is on. People are riding surfboards and jumping over squid and dolphins right now. I don't think I would do well at this game at all.
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There were seventy billion cops on the road today. I noticed all of them because my car's new registration tags aren't on yet. I actually dodged one of them before he could get behind me. It was a motorcycle cop.. a copcicle, if you will.. and we got all Streets of San Francisco with each other.

I gunned it up a hill (small dip in the road), made a quick right to avoid him (after waiting the obligatory 3 seconds in a full stop) and sped (1 mile over the speed limit) into the Jack in the Box drive-thru lane to avoid detection (and get an orange juice).

I noticed him hiding out in the adjacent abandoned lot (motel parking lot), but snuck by before he could notice me (he was adjusting his pants and boot). Take that copper! You'll never catch me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Unless you actually try, in which case I'll pull right over and probably cry.)

My job is hard. It's the kind of job that entails lots of decision making and being second guessed and generally having to defend and explain your actions. Today, it was too much. I broke into tears at my desk and my co-workers understood completely. They've been there. Like I said, it's a hard job and even though they are the ones who made it hard today.. it's not their fault, it's just the job.

I miss Shane and I need a hug.
And a cat.
And a black & white cookie.

Maybe next year?
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This Quantum of Solace flu will not go away.
I was off work yesterday and basically out of commission all weekend. That is some baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad movie juju.

Senior M is back up front in the office, and that is good times. Other seating arrangements have changed as well, the times there are less good. I can only hope this Bond Villan of an illness seeps through my cube divider and claims another victim.

My sister never returns my phone calls. Never. It is irritating. My last call was just asking what she and the hubby wanted for the holidays... so it's not urgent, but call back, yo. CALL BACK. Sheesh. I sometimes think that if my Mom passes away, which I hope she never does, that my sister and my family will lose touch forever. She has always adopted the family of whatever dude she was with. And this family of his is a dooooooozy. I don't think he even wants anything to do with them, so why she would is a mystery.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHH, just the sight of that annoying girl in my office irritates the beeejeeezus out of me. She just stomped by all sneering over the top of her glasses... it was all I could do not to throw an alien head or a toucan at her!!!!
Upon re-reading, that sentence was an odd one.. but if you worked in my department, you'd get it.

My head is swimmy, and people keep questioning me today about things that seem super obvious to me. That makes me doubt my reasoning.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, she walked by again. You guys, seriously, I am going to have to school her about something.

*time passes*

And, by being helpful, I just ruined her day.

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This is a post about how I am sick.

I am still sick.

Blah de boo doo, skippy dooo wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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I like it when Brits say 'fing' instead of 'thing'.

I missed acting a little bit today.

Still very ill, but the actors are too, so I was not exiled like usual.

Hey guys, I'm retiring. I'm going to focus on my music.
Wait, why is that funny??
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Woke up with the worst cold ever.


I crawled out of my room for food around 2pm and crawled back up and haven't moved much since.


Saw Quantum of Solace last night and thought it was not good. Entertaining, but not good. Did not know it would cause me such illness the following day.

I may have to crawl downstairs again for food soon. Too bad my roommate is having a party. Tech starts tomorrow and I can't afford to be sick. This show has a CRAZY amount of props and as I am the props wrangler, I am gonna be busy.

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Keanu Reeves impersonations? Still funny.
Drumming causes facial expressions not dissimilar to my own.
"Lamp Concussion" is likely to have it's own place in the show report.
I stayed awake the whole time, thankfully Athena was in this one too.
Tile-top tables are slippery and make me nervous.
Actors picking lint off of other actors makes me happy.
I want a persian rug/lamp living room.

Qualifications required to be cast in a Zimmerman show:

*Strong Acting
*Strong Dancing
*Strong Singing
*Additional Ethnic Dancing strongly encouraged
*Gymnasts welcome!
*Drumming is manditory
*Succesful applicant will be proficient in playing sitar, clarinet, percussion, some squeeze box accordian type thing and those gourds with the beads all over them.
*Must look good with shirt off (men and women). Must know it.
*Ability to lisp important for some roles, not sure why, but that's how we're doing things.
*Deep throaty voice very helpful
*Ability to yell and talk in time with other actors is for long periods of time gains larger role
*Carpet rolling and pillow tossing in rhythm, required
*Improv skills, most notably in the area of making up ridiculous stories about what is in a small bag are appreciated.
*Small women who can carry large men on their backs will get preference
*Ability to sit on old crotchety audience members is requested
*Ability to mime an old man flipping an egg will be tested at the audition
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Today, the person who sits next to me is trying to launch screws and nails out of a plastic squeeze bottle.

It's some sort of safety testing.
I am ready to duck at any time.

This morning, I ate a small portion of the single largest food item I have ever been given. I should have known that when the menu said "Apple Pancake" instead of pancakes, I was in for trouble.

I don't think that this thing could fairly be classified as a pancake. It was more of a giant fritter. Like medium pizza sized. And tall. I still have most of it in the fridge.
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You know what is not cool?

Waking up from a restful 5 minutes of sleep in a panic because you realize it's nearly midnight and your NaBloPoMo effort is about to turn into a pumpkin because you forgot to post anything to it today!

Man, I don't know if it's my competitive nature (um, it isn't) or my OCD tendencies (um, it might be) or the fact that I Love having a routine (um, that's the winner), but I couldn't just say screw it... I had to get out the lappy and post this drivel just so's I wouldn't miss a day. Even though I haven't managed to post anything of quality... and even though I don't plan to spell check this entry, and so it's probably gonna be a mess.

I am meeting a friend for breakfast before work tomorrow.
That is ridiculous.

I am meeting a friend after work to see a show.
That is more like it!

I hope to goodness that it isn't all warm and cozy and that things don't get so artsy that I snore right through Act II. I love Mary Zimmerman, but Athena won't be screaming her lungs out in this play, so I might take a snoozy after all that early breakfasting.

May is going to be awesome!

I have taken a 'holiday' job working backstage on a show at one of my old (and most fave) haunts. It was good to be there tonight for a run-through. Community theatre is the bestest for having so many days off! You get Monday.. AND Tuesday and Wednesday. You do one show a day (usually). Only Operas have a better schedule.

My co-worker at day job has decided that I need my own cable access show where I just tell stories and throw in fun animal facts. This came about after I was explaining my chicken filled childhood and complaining that Dora the Explora's cousin Diego was teaching kids all kinds of falsehoods about bears. He was calling Spectacled bears "Spec-tackled" bears.. sounding like Spectacular. Actually they are "Spec-tuh-culled" bears, like Spectacles.. because they look like they are wearing eyeglasses. They have gold rings around their eyes.
I realize this misinformation won't keep a kid down in life, but c'mon. Educational TV should at least try a little for accuracy, no?

My roommate is downstairs watching Get Smart and thinking it is the funniest thing ever. She's also listening to Britney. That would be fine, but she's on the interwebs telling people how she loves foreign films and jazz. It's ridiculous.
I just couldn't be bothered to lie about myself so as to appear more 'cultured'.
Then what happens when all you want to do is go home and watch some shitty comedy, but you feel you have to rent something that requires reading subtitles?


Be yourself. Be all that you can be. Just do it. Just say no. Do you love it? I got it at Ross.


December 2008

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